Peace, love, and rockets

Crosshairs up, it's go time. Heading left down the corridor, slight right... BLAM!!! Dang. Didn't even see that guy. Okay, back on. I'll just head straight, creep around the edge and. . . KABOOM! Where did that even come from? Alright now it's time to get serious. In through the side entrance, I got the guy in my sights, things are looking up. . .  KAWHACK! From behind?! You gotta be KIDDING ME!!!!
              Yes, I'm a gamer, and yes, I've had many conversations with myself that went like this. I've spent many a friday night after classes getting my butt handed to me by people from across the country. And I love it. I'm kind of an addict. It's not quite to the point where I will throw things at friends while yelling "Grenade!", but that destination is not very far away. Ever since a few online multiplayer games came out for mac, I've been hooked. Though I can't play that much ( the music major life, you know), it's always a nice little reward after a long, stressful week.
              During one of my end of the week gunslinging binges, I started to think about why I enjoyed the massively multiplayer games so much, why I so looked forward to playing whenever I could. The action was good, but eventually it becomes a monotonous routine of pointing, clicking, and dodging; my computer can't run the newest games, so the ones I do play aren't exactly cutting edge; and, though it is kind of nice to be in communication with thousands of people from all over the world, most of them just plain aren't nice. After awhile, I realized the draw came from one specific source: the competition. There really is no other competitive realm where anyone can almost instantaneously be ranked against tens of thousands of other competitors. I'm not great by any stretch of the imagination, and I consistently do get defeated, but the possibility that I may get kills and rise through the ranks is just too big of a pull to ignore. The hope that I might one day in the distant future be considered good by people I don't know is a goal worth fighting for.
              I promise this all has a point. Thinking about the rush of winning kind of got me thinking about the appropriate approach for Christians in competition, and the nature of the competitive urge. Is the competitive urge a carry-over of the sinful nature, or is there some God-given reason for it? Is it purely a selfish urge, or can it be used to glorify God? It is no secret that competition is everywhere in the media. Sporting events draw thousands upon thousands, and millions tune in for the largest broadcasted events. I've lost track of how many inspirational sports movies have come out, but I do know there are only like 3 that I care for ( Hint: Cool Runnings is on the list). The struggle  between competitors for a common prize is a theme familiar to all who enjoy motion pictures.
              I honestly don't really know what the right answer is, but I have struggled with this thought for some time. I know great Christian people who, as soon as a game of basketball breaks out in the church parking lot, seem to temporarily lose their minds and their head-to-mouth filter. I had a youth pastor a number of years ago who honestly believed her competitive nature was a God-given gift and that it was an admirable thing, and anytime she would get involved in a game name-calling and trash-talking ensued. I've felt myself get to that point and hated how I acted; that's why I generally keep my distance for anything that smells of intense competition. It frustrates me sometimes how out of hand these situations can get, even between believers. In my sophomore year of high school my Christian school's soccer team made it to the league championship, and it was certainly dirty business. Cheap shots, bad calls, and tempers ruled the night, and I remember wanting to quit at the end of the game. I felt uncomfortable and conflicted; I felt like a lot of people, myself included, threw away their ability to influence others for Christ for a shot at victory.
             I have been inspired by athletes who have defeated enormous odds and achieved honest victory against dishonest tactics; I have also been thoroughly disappointed by the conduct of "Christian" athletes as they went for the gold. I believe that the act of competing, testing one's skill against another, is a completely valid and even admirable thing. However, it can also bring out the worst in  people who begin to lose all perception of morality or decency in their quest for victory. I don't know if a consensus has been reached on the nature of the competitive urge, but I think there is an important self-evaluation that needs to take place for the Christian competitor: are they still serving their purpose to be salt and light as they compete? Do they seek to glorify God or glorify themselves? As we compete and as we try to succeed, it is essential that we remember our role as believers in the culture. If ever that purpose is marred by our thoughts and actions, it is our duty to assess our hearts and look to God with repentance and a heart open to change.